Co-written by Becca Clayton, Mental Health First Aider™ and Founder of Tonic Wellbeing, and Leanne Sumnall, Expert Counsellor at Maze Counselling
As a Mental Health First Aider™, you’ve already invested in learning the theory and building the skills to recognise early signs of mental health difficulties. But knowledge is only the first step. The real challenge comes when you put this into practice, when you notice someone might be struggling and decide to reach out.
In our experience, Becca as a trained MHFAider™ and Leanne as a professional counsellor, the secret lies in preparation. Of course, if someone is in crisis, we know preparation isn’t always possible; in those moments, simply showing up, listening, and connecting them to urgent support matters most. But when there is space to prepare, taking time to set the right conditions can transform the conversation into one that feels safe, supportive, and meaningful.
Here are our shared insights on how to prepare for a mental health first aid conversation:
1. Pick Your Moment
Rushing rarely helps. If you’re under pressure, watching the clock, or have meetings stacked up, it’s not the right time to begin. Choose a moment where you have the space to really listen without distractions. By creating a calm environment with no time limits, you signal to the other person that they matter.
2. Check Your Own Capacity
Before you start, pause and ask yourself:
- Am I in the right headspace to give my full attention?
- How is my mood right now—am I calm, grounded, and free from major stresses?
Being there for someone else requires emotional availability. It’s okay to wait until you feel ready; it will make the conversation far more supportive and sustainable.
3. Choose the Right Setting
Where you talk is just as important as what you say. Consider:
- Will we have privacy and feel safe?
- Is this space free from interruptions and distractions?
- Will both of us feel comfortable here?
A neutral, calm space helps foster openness and honesty.
4. Use Supportive Language
The words we choose carry weight. Language can build trust—or unintentionally create distance. We recommend:
- Use “I” statements: “I’ve noticed you seem quieter than usual” rather than “You’ve changed.”
- Ask open questions: “What’s that been like for you?” instead of closed or leading ones.
- Avoid comparisons and judgements—focus on listening, not fixing.
The aim is to open a door, not to diagnose.
5. Be the Person They Need
This conversation isn’t about offering solutions—it’s about being present. That means:
- Adopting a warm, non-judgemental tone.
- Listening without interrupting or minimising.
- Avoiding sarcasm or humour that could close the conversation down.
- Respecting their perspective, even if it differs from yours.
Sometimes, the greatest support we can offer is simply holding space.
6. Make it Sustainable – for Them and for You
Mental health conversations can be emotionally draining, so sustainability matters.
For the person you’re supporting:
- Keep the conversation at a pace that feels manageable.
- Remind them that this isn’t the final step—it’s the first step. Signpost professional or ongoing support when needed.
For yourself:
- Reflect afterwards. Writing in a journal, taking a walk, or enjoying a quiet cuppa can help you process.
- Acknowledge how the conversation made you feel. If it brought up difficult emotions, talk it through with someone you trust.
Your wellbeing as a Mental Health First Aider is just as important as the person you are supporting.
Leanne’s 3 Top Tips as a Counsellor
1. Don’t fear silence.
Pauses can feel uncomfortable, but often silence is where the person is processing. Give them that space—it can be incredibly powerful.
2. Validate before you reassure.
It’s natural to want to say, “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” But sometimes what someone needs to hear is: “That sounds really tough, I can see why you’d feel that way.” Validation builds trust.
3. End with hope, not pressure.
Conclude by acknowledging their courage in opening up, and gently highlight that support exists. Keep the door open for further conversations without overwhelming them with next steps.
Final Thought
Every mental health first aid conversation is unique. There’s no script but with preparation, empathy, and self-awareness, you can make a real difference. As Becca shares through her MHFA practice and Leanne emphasises in counselling: it’s not about having the perfect words; it’s about creating a safe, supportive moment where someone feels seen and heard.
